How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
