We're facebook friends in real life
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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