There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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