We're like a lot better than the average bears
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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