Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
