The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize