do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
