You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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