I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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