i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
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I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
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If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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