White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize