At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
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my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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