You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
