Yo dont text me then not text me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
