Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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