question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
