So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
