$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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