So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
