I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize