You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
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