Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
