How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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