I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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