I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
