Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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