Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
