Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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