great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize