How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The Olympian is in my bed
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
