There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
