So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
