I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
