I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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