dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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