I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
