12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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