How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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