it hurts more in the daytime
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize