My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force