bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.