I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
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we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
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I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.