You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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