Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize