My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize