He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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