i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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