a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize