dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize