even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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