I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
