how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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