Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
