I will die if light touches me.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
