As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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