Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My life is pants optional.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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