when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
