VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
